FOSTER SUPPORT
A wide range of help is greatly needed
to support Marin’s foster children and
the dedicated families who care for them.
Here are some of the organizations
working on the front lines to support
foster families and raise much-needed
funds, both locally and nationally.
Marin Foster Care Association
MFCA lends support to foster families
and guidance for those seeking to
become involved. Offerings include a
Community Resource Center that stocks
supplies such as clothes, baby items,
toys and toiletries; support groups for
foster parents; and a program supporting
teens and their caregivers. Both in-kind
and financial donations are accepted.
marinfostercare.org
Foster Our Future
This branch of Marin Children and
Family Services is devoted to recruiting,
training and supporting foster parents.
marinhhs.org/foster-care
Friends of the Family
Have a few hours to drive a child to
practice, deliver a meal or donate
supplies? This new program of CFS
connects volunteers with families in
need of support.
foster.marinhhs.org/friends-family
The National Foster Parent Association
The nonprofit offers multiple services
to support foster parents at the national
and local level and sponsors Walk Me
Home fundraising events.
nfpaonline.org
National CASA/GAL Association
for Children
The countrywide network recruits,
trains and supports court-appointed
special advocate (CASA) volunteers,
who represent children’s interests
in the courtroom and other settings.
nationalcasagal.org
supporter of Marin Foster Care Association.
“My experience in foster care was short, but it
shaped many of my attitudes, giving me a deep
sense of how important it is that kids have a
place to go,” she says. “I have a lot of admira-
tion for those who step up to help these kids.”
The experience was quite different for
Cherylee Gillispie, who entered foster care at
13 with her 12-year-old sister. The girls spent
six months in an emergency group home, followed by stays with several families before
they aged out of the system with no support
for getting a start on adulthood.
“What happened to me was a long time ago,
and there have been many improvements, but
the problems still aren’t fixed,” says Gillispie,
who is now a leader in the teen program at the
Marin Foster Care Association. “Only 6 percent of foster kids graduate from college and,
after they age out, there’s a high level of housing instability — over 50 percent at some point
will experience homelessness.
“These kids have already been traumatized
by having to leave their families,” she adds,
“and it’s heartbreaking that they also have to
leave school, their friends, teachers, coaches
and their whole adult support net work. That
trauma has lifelong consequences — it was
devastating for me and took me a long time to
get over, when I could have had a much better
start in life.”
Stepping Up
Among Marin’s foster parents are some who
have dedicated themselves to this way of life
for years or even decades. Carol Ihlenburg
has fostered more than 50 children in 21
years. She takes primarily babies and tod-
dlers, mostly as newborns straight from
Marin General Hospital, where many were
treated in the neonatal intensive care unit
(NICU) to detox from drugs their mothers
were taking. Ihlenburg was a licensed day
care provider when a recruiter asked her to
consider fostering. “At the time I thought
sure, what does it matter if they’re here 24
hours, I’m already watching them all day,”
says Ihlenburg, chuckling. “Of course, I
found out there’s a big difference. But I also
found that I really loved caring for these
babies and getting them healthier than when
they first came in.”
Her biological daughter, Jordin, was 5
when the first baby came into the house; now
Jordin is 27 and pursuing studies in social
work. Ihlenburg and her husband Kris Bradley
adopted another daughter, Kylie, who came to
them as a foster child at 4 months and returned
after family reunification efforts failed.
“It’s fulfilling and it’s challenging. Every
time I do this I think, why do I keep going
back? And then they call with another baby
and I can’t say no,” Ihlenburg says.
Every foster family has a different story
about what drew them to the role. After discovering they weren’t suited to be full-time
foster parents, Bill Anderson and his wife
Susan Brennan began offering respite care,
taking children for various lengths of time to
give the kids’ current foster parents or reunited
biological parents a much-needed break.
“We want to help these people who are
really committed to doing this and let them
take time off when they need to,” Anderson
says. Often the couple has developed ongoing relationships with the children and their
parents, foster or biological, and some kids
have returned for repeated stays over the
years. Many of the dozen-or-so kids Anderson
and his wife took in are still in their lives: a
3-year-old boy they first fostered when he was
just 7 days old comes back regularly, as does a
5-year-old girl living with her grandmother.
When one of their respite charges joined a
basketball team, Anderson signed on to help
coach the team, then helped her with college
applications: “ We’re like grandparents or
uncles and aunts.” Recently, when an infant
needed tending on very short notice, “I thought
well, I’m going to be watching the Niners game,
so as long as I’m going to be sitting on my couch
for four hours, I might as well do that holding a
baby,” he says with a laugh.
Moments like this may seem small, Fields
says, but they can make all the difference in a
child’s life. “You can’t take back a traumatic
experience that a child has had, but you can
counteract it with positive ones.”
And foster parents like Anderson,
Ihlenburg and the Hurds want people to know
how gratifying it can be to participate in this
process. “There are so many ways people can
be involved,” Ashley says. “We can all be part
of helping these kids get a better start.”
